(from Prārthanā)
(1)
gaurā pahu nā bhajiyā goinu
prema-ratana-dhana helāya hārāinu
I did not consider worshiping Lord Gaurāṅga, but instead brought about my spiritual ruin by neglecting that treasure trove of pure of God.
(2)
adhane yatana kari dhana teyāginu
āpana karama-doṣe āpani ḍubinu
I gave up the association of the saintly devotees to enjoy myself in the company of the ungodly. Therefore I am bound up by the snare of karma.
(3)
sat-saṅga chāḍi' kainu asate vilāsa
te-kāraṇe lāgilo ye karma-bandha-phāṅsa
I am always drinking the dangerous poison of sense gratification, thus I can never absorb myself in the blissful nectar of chanting the glories of Lord Caitanya.
(4)
viṣaya-viṣama-viṣa satata khāinu
gaura-kīrtana-rase maghana nā hainu
Why am I still living and what happiness do I have? Narottama dāsa says, "Why have I not died long ago?"
(5)
keno vā āchaye prāṇa ki sukha pāiyā
narottam dās keno nā gelo mariyā
This is not only Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura's lamentation. If I cannot come in touch with Lord Caitanya and His associates, it would be better for me to die.
Purport
His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda
This is a song by Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura. He says, gaura pahu nā bhajiyā goinu: "I have invited my spiritual death by not worshiping Lord Caitanya." Gaura pahu means "Lord Caitanya," and nā bhajiyā, "without worshiping." Goinu: "I have invited spiritual death." And why have I invited spiritual death? Adhane yatane kari dhana teyāginu: "Because I am engaged in something which is useless and have rejected the real purpose of my life. Adhane means "valueless things," and dhana means "valuables." So actually every one of us is neglecting our spiritual emanicipation: we are engaged in material sense gratification, and therefore we are losing the opportunity of this human form of body to elevate ourselves to the spiritual platform. This human body is especially provided to the conditioned soul to give him a chance for spiritual emancipation. So anyone who does not care for spiritual emancipation is inviting spiritual death. Spiritual death means to forget oneself-to forget that one is spirit. That is spiritual death, like animal life. Animal life is full forgetfulness. The animals cannot be reminded under any circumstances that they are not this body. It is only in this human form of life that one can understand that he is not this body, that he is spirit soul. By chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa one can easily understand this fact. In other words, by worshiping Lord Caitanya, following His principles and ways, and chanting Hare Kṛṣṇa one can very easily come to the platform of spiritual understanding.
But Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura says on our behalf that we are neglecting this. Therefore we are inviting spiritual death. Then he says, prema-ratana-dhana helāya hārāinu. Spiritual life means to develop real love. Everyone says "love." There are so many signboards, so many books: "Love, love." But there is no love. This is illusion. It is all lust. "Love" for intoxication, "love" for sex, "love" for this and that. This is going on. Actually, the word love is applicable only with Kṛṣṇa, with God: To love means to love Kṛṣṇa. That is spiritual love. And we are created for that purpose. So, that is wanted. Narottama dāsa says, "I could have achieved that transcendental treasure of love, but I was robbed of it because of neglecting to worship Lord Caitanya." And why has this happened? Āpana karama-doṣe āpani ḍubinu: "Due to my past misdeeds." Due to our past misdeeds, we get a certain type of body. Everyone who has got a material body has received it due to his past misdeeds, and even his past pious deeds. Actually, as long as one gets a material body, there are no pious deeds. "Pious deeds" means no more material body. Otherwise, it is to be taken as a fact that even Brahmā, who is the chief living entity within this universe and has a long, long duration of life and so much power-still, he is considered to have performed misdeeds because he has a material body. So, by our misdeeds we go down and down, getting one body after another. In Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam it is stated that people do not know that by engaging in sense gratification they are assuring that they will have another body. And the body is the cause of material pangs. It is only because I have this body that I feel a headache, a stomachache, etc. But as soon as we are out of this material body, there are no more material pangs. It is simply joyful life. Brahma-bhūtaḥ prasannātmā. Prasannātmā means "joyful." But due to our past misdeeds we are missing this opportunity.
And why is it happening? Sat-saṅga chāḍi' kainu asate vilāsa: "I have given up the association of devotees and am associating with common nonsense men for sense gratification." Sat means "spirit," and asat means "matter." Association with nondevotees produces material attachment, and that means implication in material, conditioned life. So, one has to associate with devotees. Satāṁ prasaṅgān mama vīrya-saṁvido. One can learn about God only in the association of devotees. Therefore we are pushing this Kṛṣṇa consciousness society. You'll find that one who comes to this society and associates with us for a few days or a few weeks becomes Kṛṣṇa conscious, and soon he comes forward for initiation and further advancement. So, association with devotees is very important. But here Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura laments, sat-saṅga chāḍi kainu asatye vilāsa te-kāraṇe lāgilo ye karma-bandha-phāṅsa: "I have given up the association of devotees and tried to enjoy among nondevotees, and immediately māyā has caught me and mangled me in the web of fruitive activities." Māyā is just by our side. As soon as we give up the company of devotees, māyā says, "Yes, come to my company." Nobody can remain without any company; that is not possible. One must associate with either māyā or Kṛṣṇa. And when we speak of Kṛṣṇa, we mean Kṛṣṇa and His devotees. Kṛṣṇa is never alone. He is always with Rādhārāṇī, with the other gopīs, with the cowherd boys. So to be Kṛṣṇa conscious means to keep association with the devotees of Kṛṣṇa.
Next Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura says, visaya-viṣama-viṣa satata khāinu: "I have always drunk the most dangerous poison of sense gratification." Viṣaya means "sense gratification." Eating, sleeping. mating, and defending-these four principles are called viṣaya. And viṣama means "dangerous." And viṣa means "poison." If one is simply engaged with these four activities, just like the animals, then one is simply drinking poison. That's all. "I know this is poison, but I am so much intoxicated that I am drinking this poison at every moment." Then, gaura-kīrtana-rase maghana nā hainu: "Therefore I could not merge myself into the saṅkīrtana movement of Lord Caitanya." That is actually the fact. Those who are too much attached to the materialistic way of life, who are always drinking the poison of sense gratification, are not attracted by the saṅkīrtana movement.
Finally Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura, representing ourselves, laments, keno vā āchaye prāṇa ki sukha pāiyā: "Why am I living? I have not associated with the devotees, I have not taken part in the saṅkīrtana movement, I do not understand what is Kṛṣṇa, I do not understand what is Lord Caitanya. Then why am I living? What is my happiness? Why did I not die long, long ago?" So. this is not only Narottama dāsa Ṭhākura's lamentation. Every one of us should think like that: "If I cannot associate with devotees, if I cannot understand the Kṛsna consciousness movement, if I cannot come in touch with Lord Caitanya and His associates, it would be better for me to die." This is the substance of this song.
